TMI

Hi all. For my new visitors, I apologize in advance for this post . . . It's definitely a little Too Much Information, but my blog has always been about my journey, mostly art, but personal stuff overlaps sometimes. This is a personal post and I'll be posting art stuff later on Wednesday. I'm very open about what is going on in my life, usually, but try to hold back a bit from personal stuff - I don't a lot of the time because of my openness, but I try.

Anyway, many of you regular visitors know, I am 43 and relatively healthy and happy. But, to be candid, I'm having some female issues that are really taking their toll on me. I have had some ovarian cysts for three years that have caused some concern lately. I had a pap smear in August and it was normal and then had an MRI and pelvic ultrasound which revealed there are more cysts and the tests need to be repeated in about two weeks to decide what to do about them. I was feeling fine and not too worried until September and started having my "monthly visitor" every other week. Now I have had it pretty much constantly and very heavy for the last five weeks and I find myself exhausted. I keep trying to talk myself out of it and that it will all straighten out, but I am just plain old tired, like more tired than I have ever been in my life, with the exception of those first few baby weeks twice (2 kids). I have reached the point the last two days I feel I can't fake it anymore and it's not going away and I just have to let you all know I am not myself. I have calls in to get authorization to see a specialist and hopefully get this taken care of soon, but just wanted you to know that I am having trouble keeping all of the balls I used to juggle in the air now. I am so tired, I find it harder and harder to blog visit, make art, answer emails, or do things that require actual thinking beyond what is absolutely necessary to stay afloat. Coming up with original ideas is the hard part. Etsy is going fine and chore like things I can stay on top of, but mental effort is really not going well for me. I am a very determined person, so some days I pull it off and others I just have to give up. I'm not overly concerned. I think it's just one of those things some of us have to go through in our 40's (my mom had the exact same thing happen at 42) and it will get taken care of pretty routinely once we get the ball rolling. So forgive my absences and flakiness and lack of visiting. I will work through this and all will be fine soon. Thank you!

Happy Friday!

Another busy week - lots going on but all is good. I ended up not taking the job at Micheal's due to some minor health issues that need to be fixed up and that I decided were more important than the whopping $500 I might make by Christmas. Can't put a price on your body and comfort. My son sent his first two college applications out this week and we are going to visit some campuses this weekend but they're nearby.

Here's my latest piece for the Collage Dreams on Paper class. I'm not really happy with the lettering but I did it - still afraid of that darn lettering and that's probably why I'm struggling with it so much. But, as I struggle with the lettering, I'm getting more comfortable with the new background style at least. I may reuse this main figure and try another one. The main figure will be showing up in parts on one of my collage sheets soon. I'm still working on some other body parts to add to that sheet but I've got it about 3/4 done. Hope to blog visit and flickr visit over the next few days - I miss everyone and I've been hunkered down in my own little world. Time to throw open the curtains and see what's going on outside!

All Star Diva


copyright by Marsha Jorgensen 11/13/09. All rights reserved. You may not copy, print, download, or use this image or any part of it in any way without my permission.
This is an 8 x 10 collage (approximately) using a face, body, legs, and shoes from one of my own collage sheets (not yet released), a hat purchased from clipart.com, and wings purchased with a commercial license from Butterfly Utopia. All but the wings and hat were printed in black and white and then hand colored. Regarding the border pieces: the flowers, wavy black and white stripes, teal and white piece at the bottom, and number 9's are from Studio Maya at Scrapbookgraphics.com; the parking meters were purchased from clipart.com; the rest of the border pieces are from my own collage sheets at tumblefishstudio.etsy.com. All pieces were attached to a background altered with NeoColors, PanPastels, and ink.

Have a great weekend!

Not just Veteran's Day for me . . .

We buried my mom 13 years ago today. She died very suddenly at age 66. I was 30 and so not ready to be without her. But, life has a way of working in its own way and honestly, the way things turned out, I got much closer to my dad than I might have otherwise and that has been a very precious gift to me. What they say is true, time heals things and lessens pain and sorrow, but I miss my mom.

I am starting a part time job today. I applied for one, kind of on a whim, and got it, not sure that I even really wanted it. It's no great feat - I'm working at Micheal's of all places! If nothing else, a discount will be nice. But, I have to say, it's been a long, long time since I worked for minimum wage. I hear the job and nice pay I left to make art no longer exists thanks to CA's education cuts and I'm just thankful to have a job at all in a state that has the worst unemployment rate in the country. I was sharing somewhere else today that it's just hard to not have a job, regardless of pay rates. I've only not worked 5 years out of the last 29 - I started working when I was 14 and didn't not work until my son was born. I keep thinking he's going to college in less than a year and I can't just play all day everyday. I'm not sure how it will change things art wise . . . we'll see.

I finished one collage sheet and one collage today. Here's what I wrote in flickr about my collage piece . . . "For Nancy Baumiller's Collage Dreams on Paper class . . . Well, I did it. I did what I was afraid to do. I played, no plan, no printing stuff out. I just used scraps AND I finally tried hand lettering. I can't say that I like it, but I like that I finally let go, loosened up, and faced some fears here. Heck, I even scribbled some if you can believe it."

Always


This is an 8 x 10 collage using mostly images from my new collage sheets but also many scrap pieces of paper and a few magazine pictures of trees (altered and recolored). The wings are from Itkupilli.etsy.com, the scalloped border at the top is from designer Sande Krieger, and the hat was made from a piece from Studio Maya at Scrapbookgraphics.com. The fish, all the bodies, face, and many other pieces are from my collage sheets at tumblefishstudio.etsy.com. Lots of ink, pastel, and the main background is acrylic.

Here's the new collage sheet

FrooFroo



I am so honored to be featured on two lovely blogs today. Thank you to Lorraine of Creative Daily for a lovely post. Lorraine was just published in Somerset Studio and has so many different talents. You must hop over and peruse her lovely blog. And, another big thank you to Nikki Smith (again! I mentioned her on yesterday's post). If you didn't stop by after yesterday's post, jump over now and check out not just her blog but all of her gorgeous galleries!

A bunch of stuff . . .

I can't believe it's been so long since I blogged. Where has the last week gone? Doesn't it always seem like time speeds up this time of year? Or do we say that all year long, every season? I don't know. I've been busy. The collage sheets I've been making take a lot of time but I've gotten a little more comfortable with it. One soccer season is over so we have a bit of a break as the new team starts practicing. And, we've been filling out or at least talking about filling out college applications with my son. We're going to finish that this Wednesday.

Nancy Baumiller's Collage Dreams on Paper class has been teaching me a lot, but my mind has been all over the place figuring out what it means or what it should mean to my work. I wrote in a comment over there that I think there was this little bit of me thinking if I took the class I would magically be able to make imposter Teesha and Nancy work. This was not the case and at first I was disappointed that my work still looked like mine. But, I've started to accept, I am me and just like I can't hand write just like any of you or you like me doesn't mean a hill of beans and is probably a good thing for variety sake. I know this was in the Being an Artist 101 class but I keep making it harder than it has to be.

This piece was made for a one-eyed zetti postcard swap and I chose to make it in the style of Nancy's class though it is much more organized than Nancy or Teesha would organize something. Many of the elements used are from my new collage sheets and this piece is available as 5 x 7 print - all in Etsy.

Beholder


copyright by Marsha Jorgensen 11/6/09. All rights reserved. You may not copy, print, download, or use this image in any way without my permission.
This is a 4 x 6 postcard made for a swap. The body is from lisasalteredart.etsy.com and the flower crown is from spiceitup.etsy.com. The wings are form designer Nicole Young and used with a commercial license. The eye charts in the borders are from shabby chic papirskatter. The rest of the border pieces and the view master are from my own collage sheets at tumblefishstudio.etsy.com. The face is from the public domain and highly altered. All hand cut, most hand colored, and attached to a background made with NeoColors and Pan Pastels and ink.

There was an auction for our friend, Tina Wright, who is fighting colon cancer. I donated a couple of prints and gift certificates. One of the high bidders was so very sweet to offer me two of her pieces of work and when I went to peek I was just amazed at her beautiful and original Wee Planets. Nikki Smith is a very talented book artist but works in all sorts of mediums. Her Wee Planets just truly caught my imagination. I chose one and she sent me two.

This one is called Planet Path.



And this one, I didn't realize until I looked on the back, she personalized to be Hotel de Tumble Fish!



See in the close up? Isn't that just the coolest thing ever? I just love it! Special touches like that can turn a very lovely and cool piece of art into a meaningful and extremely lovely and cool piece of art! Be sure to go look at Nikki's other work, but here's a link to her Wee Planets http://art.flatwaremedia.com/images.cfm?pwid=0&dynid=0&tblImageCategoryID=75 You can get to her blog and other galleries from here too.




I finished a few more collage sheets . . .

Vignette-ies

Happy Day Swim Club



Scrapalooza


And lastly, you've seen this before, but it is now all glued down with lots of ink outlines and shading added. It's in my Etsy too. I wanted to share the image credits now that it's done. A lot of folks have asked about the houses and I got those from Kelly Burton's collagevisions.etsy.com.

Little Traveler


copyright by Marsha Jorgensen 11/6/09. All rights reserved. You may not copy, print, download, or use this image in any way without my permission.
This is a large 8 x 10 collage using a face from the public domain, glasses and crown purchased from clipart.com, legs and boots scanned from catalogs and altered digitally and by hand, skirt from the public domain, bodice and arms from cemerony.etsy.com, hearts and wings from designer Nicole Young and purchased with a commercial license, houses from collagevisions.etsy.com, TV screens & exit sign purchased from clipart.com, word "entree" from designer Lorie Davison of Studio Lorie at Scrapbookgraphics.com, black and cream border from crowabout.etsy.com, scalloped and straight red and white striped border from crowabout.etsy.com, small red and black border from crowabout.etsy.com, inside side borders from Gaby Braun of gaby-cajubrasil.blogspot.com, scalloped borders with numbers from designer Sande Krieger and purchased with a commercial license, scraps from Graphic 45 papers, other scraps from the public domain and my own vintage ephemera, and clouds & view master reel from tumblefishstudio.etsy.com. Most of these pieces were hand colored to some degree and all were hand cut and glued to a background made from NeoColors, ink, and PanPastels.

First digital collage sheets are done!

Whew! I had no idea how much work was involved in digital collage sheets! All of you image sellers I buy from, my hat is off to you! I don't know how you get so many done. I worked pretty much non-stop from Friday to this afternoon and I only have 5 sheets done and have only used about 12 of my 100 or so vintage pictures. I have a long, long way to go! But, here they are . . .

Fun House



Borders and Scraps



Paper and Tin



Little Geishas



Snappy Dressers


I am taking a break from all things art tonight and doing some laundry, going to a soccer meeting, and watching TV later. I might even wear my new lovely bracelet to do these things. I won a prize from Monica Magness's Pink Artist Project and the prize was this very gorgeous bracelet from my friend Sharon of Livewire Jewelry! Sharon, I haven't even written a thank you yet but I'm off to do that now! Thank you so much! I love it and am already fighting my daughter over it! I can't believe I won!

Contrived intuition

I watched all of Teesha Moore's videos this morning that she has recently posted to her blog. Oh boy, I love watching her work and hearing what she's thinking as she does it. It makes my head spin with urges to work in her style.

I think the word I've been looking for to describe my own work is contrived. Teesha uses the word now and then in the context that she wants to change pieces she collages so they don't look so contrived. I think she means too perfect, too neat and tidy and therefore empty of expression. She uses the word intuitive alot. I think I work intuitively but I don't work very expressively or gesturely. Now, everytime I write about where my head is in regard to my work I get a bushel full of compliments and loving lectures. I want you to understand that I am not looking for assurances about my work, maybe admittedly my thinking and questioning (cuz we all like to know we are not crazy), but I am truly posting my journey on this blog. I'm sharing what's in my head. Eventually and hopefully, you'll continue to read my blog to see how I work these things out, how I overcome or ignore the moments of "stuck". If I don't question my work from time to time, I'm not sure I would keep striving to find my true voice, my true work that is buried down deep in my soul somewhere. I think those times of questioning are that deep down art trying to get a little closer to the surface.

A strange thing has happened to me. Up until a couple of weeks ago, I found myself increasingly very attracted to surealsim and digital artists that use vintage images to create these crazy odd elaborate stories. I started to try and think about working in that direction, but still working with scissors and glue and marrying that crisp odd surrealism with a mostly non-digital presentation. Then, I started Nancy Baumiller's class and I foundmyself trying to work in this crazy un-crisp, very expressive zetti Teesha Moore journal style. And I love both styles and find myself torn and confused about which direction I want to work in or trying to figure a way to work in the two styles at once while still keeping me in my work. I think it is these things that have brought on the questioning and self criticism you've been reading. But, please know that I love making art. I'm not about to quit or throw myself off a cliff. I'm just telling you about my journey.

So, I've left just a few links here to show the two very different types of work and artists I find myself in a love triangle with!

Martine Roch
Maggie Taylor
Casa Jordi
Paul Grand
Teesha Moore
Nancy Baumiller
Jade Adams
Roc Nicholas

I plan to flit amongst these styles and continue to keep playing and continue to keep questioning. I'm even taking a mini-break from creating. That really means, I'm not pushing myself as I had been, to make a set number of pieces a week. I'll make when I can't fight the urge and won't make if I have to force it. In the meantime, if I'm not around much, I am finally working on collage sheets and scanning, scanning, scanning, photoshoping, photoshoping, photoshoping, etc. It's taken me about 10 hours a sheet so far so this is a big project for me. I have a couple of sheets done but want to wait until I get a few more before I "release" them.

Lauren went back to school today and we kicked the flu out of the house over the weekend. All is good.

I'm not a digital artist . . .

First, thank you for the support below. I should've told you not to gush over me, but I have to say, what helps more than anything is to know I am not alone in my moments of doubt, that you all feel that way from time to time. I know that deep down, even told other people that when they were doubting themselves, but sometimes I lose perspective and just need to be reassured that everyone feels that way sometimes. Like I said, I don't think my "art world" friends ever make me doubt things, it's the others in my life that make me look at things from a broader perspective and then I question everything. On another note . . .

Lately, I've been getting some flickr and blog comments that lead me to believe people think I am a digital artist, and even a couple of blogs have linked me as a digital artist and I'm not. I mostly work the old-fashioned way - scissors and glue. I WISH I knew how to do more digitally but about all I have figured out is layering textures for backgrounds, then I just print them out and glue everything to them anyway. So, I thought I'd show you the backs of a couple of my older figures so you can see that they are constructed from cut pieces and glued together.



I Just Wanna Fly, below, has 6 pieces glued here but by the time she was finished with hat and cuffs and trims there were 11 pieces in just the main figure. All cut and glued and hand colored.



Hope, below, has 9 pieces glued together not counting the 3 on her hat.



And, lastly, one of my newest characters without wings. This crazy person (for Nancy's Collage Dreams on Paper class) has 13 pieces glued together with the wings. (This one is harder to see the cut edges because I should've scanned on another color to avoid the bright contrast but you get the idea)



Hey, but I did learn a little trick by accident this morning that might be fun to play with. If you scan the back of a figure into your computer so that it is white on a black background, take it into Gimp (gimp is a photo editing program that is much like photoshop but free and not as sophisticated - good for easy edits), "color to alpha" which means it takes everything white and makes it transparent, save it as a png image, you can put the shape over another picture and make an interesting silhouette. Hmmmm, may have to play with that a bit more. Would be a great do-it-yourself template for wings or crowns or all sorts of new things to play with.