May 13, 2009

A Fairy Tale for You

Once upon a time, there was a good fairy mother who posted on her blog that she was going to do a few chores and then "above all" play with art today. The fairy mother was genuine in her intentions and set about doing the tasks that needed to be done around the family dwelling in hopes that she soon would be doing what she most wanted to do. As most things end up, however, one thing lead to another.

For instance, when the good fairy mother went into her 17 year old son's room to leave something he left in the living room, she noticed the dirty clothes on the floor. She dutifully started to pick them up and sort them in the hall into the piles that awaited washing. During her many trips into the scary forbidden 17 year old son'sland to gather and pick the laundry, she pricked her toe on a poison apple, actually a stray hard drive laying amongst the briar patch of cords and discs and plugs and jewel cases and old potato chip bags and popcorn bowls and empty coke cans, and she decided it was time to slay the evil son'sland dirty room dragon.

The fairy mother worked and worked to clean the room and had to venture on a long journey to the kingdom of Target to get a new area rug and mattress cover and pillow. Truth be told, the fairy mother first sent her Prince Charming to the kingdom of Target but he returned with only a waterproof mattress cover, much like the fairy mother used to put in the cribs of her sleeping babes. A little distressed that she must do most things herself, the fairy mother saddled her trusty pickup truck and struck out on the journey herself to find the proper cover. But even the fairy mother had her challenges. The first time she visited Target she didn't think about nasty trolls putting full sized mattress pads in the twin size shelf space. The second time she visited Target she got sidetracked by the enchanting bath towels and set her magic truck keys down to fully appreciate their size and thread count. After a breathtaking run from the checkout counter back to the towel aisle she located the cursed keys, made her purchases and returned safely to finish her brave battle with evil son'sland dirty room dragon. (Every adventure needs a chase scene and this one happens to be absolutely true - too bad you couldn't hear the verbal description I gave my family of this scene as the aisle I ran down pulled out of focus, got longer and longer in a nightmarish movie kind of way with a stranger admiring her keys in a sick twisted kind of car stealing way) Of course, in the end, she slayed the evil dirty dragon room.

What fairy mother didn't expect was that 17 year old son would be so elated to find his forbidden forest room to once again be clean and perfect and pristene (and not smell like something died), he decided it was time to actually spend some time with his parents and talk about the many things that fill a 17 year old's mind. Now, behold, this was not a conversation about girls and video games, but instead, this particular son at this particular time wanted to talk about death and theoretic ideologies of heaven, hell, and religion and which parent he would rather have around during an apocolypse, fairy mother or Prince Charming. While fairy mother got the award for coolest parent ever, Prince Charming won the charished Mostly Likely to Succeed in an Apocolypse Award, just like in your old yearbooks.

After discussing the philosophies of life, religion, prejudices, politics, government control, economics, and high school the villagers decided it was time to feast. Prince Charming butchered the bacon package he found wandering in the fridge, picked from the veg drawer and sliced the tomatoes for a traditional BLT dish. With the Queen Mother (mom-in-law) and court Jester (daughter) joining in the magical gathering, all dined to the background music of NCIS until their tummies were full. Fairy mother washed the dishes and scrubbed the bacon splatters and washed more of the laundry she picked from the 17 year old son'sland and set off on a new adventure to blog land without playing in art at all today . But, BUT, everyone lived happily ever after . . . .

12 comments:

Tace said...

AWESOME blog post!!! I was smiling the whole way through, though perhaps my heart skipped a beat during the dreaded key loss target aisle chase. :) How funny Prince Charming was chosen as the Apocalyptic parent considering you're the one who had the great notions of using all the junk we keep in storage post boom-locka-boom etc. haha
I am thinking Target is an enchanted place with a spell of protection woven around it, invisible gossamer threads that cling to each and everyone and all their possessions as they enter the store. As we too have charged through Target once upon a nerve wracking time to find a lost item, but in our case it was my husband's debit card and we had already gone home and drove back to the store to ask about it. The employees we questioned had not seen it, on a lark we looked at the now empty cashier station we had bought our purchases at to see if we had dropped it and shock of all shocks it was still there stuck in the little keypad/swiper doo-hickey!!!!!! There was joy in the kingdom that day :)

Pherenike said...

Rather you than me to slay that stinky beast. I laughed at your run back to the keys and could just picture it with the distance stretching on for ever.

Taluula said...

You so make me laugh with your joyous posts. This one had me laughing at your adventure and being impressed by your story telling by turns. Keep 'em coming I just love to read them.

Randi said...

Loved this post!! You are too funny! You should submit this to a magazine...

*jean* said...

OMGosh! That was too funny, I ALMOST shot coffee out of my nose on that one!! Thanks for sharing!! I can't wait for my little one to be a teenager...I hope I can hang onto my sense of humor.....

Terri Kahrs said...

Methinks the Fairy Mother needs a Fairy Godmother badly!!!! Anyone who's got a male teenager can identify! LOL Great post, Marsha! Hugs, Terri xoxo

Heartinmyhand said...

I'm tired after reading the days adventure of Fairy Mother. Lets hope today she can play and not have to tackle "The Jester's" room.

Linda Cain said...

LOVED every bit of this!!!! And the pictures to follow?

Like a sequel!

Linda

lilylovekin said...

What a wonderful story, I found I was holding my breath as I read it. It was delightful. What a way with words!

Zinnia said...

Oh that is one of the best tales I've heard. The land of reality meets the land of fantasy! The cool thing is that you put aside your playtime for your son! And, he APPRECIATED it. That takes the cake. You DO get a big award for being such a good mamma!ooooxxxx Zinnia

whymsicalmusings said...

Un benoxed to the Fairy Godmother her Fairy Godmother Friend had just tackled this task in the filthy land of her 20 year old college sons room only a week ago! Only having to buy pillows at target and not losing her keys but perhaps her mind and a sense of smell after having it assaulted by the son'sland room!
She came here to post a quick your such a sweet fairy Godmother thank you reply but was drawn in by your most marvelous and side splitting Fairy Tale as she could whole heartedly relate!
XXXXOOOOO

aliceinparis said...

Marsha I loved this story. You've made the mundane and dreary that we all have to do from time to time into a magical tale of adventure and discovery! I love happy endings:)