Contrived intuition

I watched all of Teesha Moore's videos this morning that she has recently posted to her blog. Oh boy, I love watching her work and hearing what she's thinking as she does it. It makes my head spin with urges to work in her style.

I think the word I've been looking for to describe my own work is contrived. Teesha uses the word now and then in the context that she wants to change pieces she collages so they don't look so contrived. I think she means too perfect, too neat and tidy and therefore empty of expression. She uses the word intuitive alot. I think I work intuitively but I don't work very expressively or gesturely. Now, everytime I write about where my head is in regard to my work I get a bushel full of compliments and loving lectures. I want you to understand that I am not looking for assurances about my work, maybe admittedly my thinking and questioning (cuz we all like to know we are not crazy), but I am truly posting my journey on this blog. I'm sharing what's in my head. Eventually and hopefully, you'll continue to read my blog to see how I work these things out, how I overcome or ignore the moments of "stuck". If I don't question my work from time to time, I'm not sure I would keep striving to find my true voice, my true work that is buried down deep in my soul somewhere. I think those times of questioning are that deep down art trying to get a little closer to the surface.

A strange thing has happened to me. Up until a couple of weeks ago, I found myself increasingly very attracted to surealsim and digital artists that use vintage images to create these crazy odd elaborate stories. I started to try and think about working in that direction, but still working with scissors and glue and marrying that crisp odd surrealism with a mostly non-digital presentation. Then, I started Nancy Baumiller's class and I foundmyself trying to work in this crazy un-crisp, very expressive zetti Teesha Moore journal style. And I love both styles and find myself torn and confused about which direction I want to work in or trying to figure a way to work in the two styles at once while still keeping me in my work. I think it is these things that have brought on the questioning and self criticism you've been reading. But, please know that I love making art. I'm not about to quit or throw myself off a cliff. I'm just telling you about my journey.

So, I've left just a few links here to show the two very different types of work and artists I find myself in a love triangle with!

Martine Roch
Maggie Taylor
Casa Jordi
Paul Grand
Teesha Moore
Nancy Baumiller
Jade Adams
Roc Nicholas

I plan to flit amongst these styles and continue to keep playing and continue to keep questioning. I'm even taking a mini-break from creating. That really means, I'm not pushing myself as I had been, to make a set number of pieces a week. I'll make when I can't fight the urge and won't make if I have to force it. In the meantime, if I'm not around much, I am finally working on collage sheets and scanning, scanning, scanning, photoshoping, photoshoping, photoshoping, etc. It's taken me about 10 hours a sheet so far so this is a big project for me. I have a couple of sheets done but want to wait until I get a few more before I "release" them.

Lauren went back to school today and we kicked the flu out of the house over the weekend. All is good.