Jan 16, 2010

Just a quick update . . .

Being with someone dying is so complicated on so many levels. There are so many dynamics with all the people involved. On top of that I am hormonal I think - not a good mixture.

Doctor and Hospice both came today. Monday we are going for a bone scan to see if the cancer has spread there and that is what ...is causing the worst pain that they haven't been able to manage yet. If it shows up then they will do heavy duty radiation to eliminate pain but it will not help his prognosis. In fact, in this situation, it is a way heavier dose of radiation than would ever be used to treat cancer. We kind of almost hope that is what happens so that the pain might get better. After that process is through, Hospice will start immediately.

In the discussion my brother had with the doc away from my dad we found out that the next two weeks will reveal a lot. They might be able to improve his condition a bit, not the overall prognosis but his comfort for many weeks. If they are not able to improve things in the next two weeks, even with the radiation, then the doc said the end would come fairly quickly within a couple of weeks maybe. Next to pain, his complete loss of appetite, growing inabiltiy to take solid food and severe weight loss will have a lot to do with the outcome along with his weak heart. So there are still lots of unknowns. I can say that there has been a rather large decline since I've been here and even Kent sees a decline since he got here Thursday. His eyes look different, he is sleeping way way more the last two days, his speech has slowed down a bit, he is happy in the bedroom away from the activity, hasn't had anything solid since Thursday morning, kind of talks about things sometimes that have nothing to do with what we were just talking about (like for some reason today he explained his very weird dream last night in great detail to his doctor while we were trying to talk about medications for indigestion) Kent goes home tomorrow. My brother will be here another week. Monday is going to be a long trying day trying to get dad to the hospital and back, so pray for good things.


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41 comments:

Kathy-Catnip Studio said...

This must be an incredibly sad and stressful time for you and your family. I hope his pain can be managed successfully, and soon.

julia said...

Marsha,
I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad's decline. We went through something very similar with my Dad and lost him almost exactly 2 years ago. His was pancreatic cancer. We watched his rapid decline in a mater of about 4 weeks. My heart hurts for you. I know how hard this time is. Sending my prayers to you and your family.
Julia

Outstanding Stranger said...

Oh Marsha I am so sorry you have to go through this. I pray that they can manage your father's pain.I am glad you have Hospice. They are so wonderful. I have been through this twice. Once with my Step-Dad and once with my step-Mom. Once they get his pain managed it will be much better. Love and Hugs, Diane

sharon said...

I have tears in my eyes and chills in my back as I read this Marsha, and I have all the prayers in my heart it can hold, for you and your dad. I will pray more.

Audrey said...

Sorry to hear all the pain you, your family and your dad is going through...Sending lot of prayers for you and your family!

Jamie said...

I will be praying that they can manage his pain better Marsha. Thank you so much for taking time to keep us updated. Keeping you and yours in my thoughts sweetie. Love, Jamie

Leslie said...

Just a note to let you know, Marsha, that you and you dad are in my thoughts.

Marit said...

Oh Marsha, that's a lot happened since I visited you last time... you, your dad and your family are in my thoughts!!!

yoborobo said...

Marsha - I am praying they will be able to reduce your Dad's pain, so he can rest more comfortably. I know this is taking a toll on you, so you be sure to take good care of yourself, too. Much love to you, my friend. Prayers of strength for you and your family. xoxoxoxo Pam

Ocean Lotus said...

yes praying...for you, for your dad, your family....

Hayley Egan said...

I am still here, thinking of you.. X

Gail Burton said...

Dear Marsha,
I only found your blog yesterday, so hope you won't mind a stranger leaving her hearfelt sympathies and of course, prayers, with you and your old dad? I do hope he gets the pain relief he needs and I send all my prayers to you and yours. What a sad time for everyone.

Hugs
Gail x

Kelly said...

thinking of you...

Cathy said...

keeping you and your family in my heart and prayers, marsha.

Terri Kahrs said...

When you love someone and see them in so much pain, you'd give anything in the world to make it better for them. Your just being there is a lot of comfort for your Dad right now, Marsha. My heart, thoughts and prayers are with you. Blessings & Love, Terri xoxo

Jill said...

My heart is full for you and your family

TheresainMS said...

My prayers are with you always, Marsha.

lilylovekin said...

Marsha, my heart goes out to you and your father, your entire family. It is difficult to watch someone you love suffer so. Take care of yourself during this painful time.

Anonymous said...

Just a note to let you know there are many of us out here who've been through what you're now facing....we know....we're here....sending our thoughts, prayers, strength, and love.

Anonymous said...

I am following your blog and want you to know that my positive thoughts are sent your way. My wish for your dad is that God provides him comfort. My wish for you is that God provides you with continued strength.

My dad had his hospice meeting last Friday. For now, he will remain in his apartment and will receive at home hospice, when he gets to that point. I will be flying back out to him Jan 30 to stay a week. My sister Rosi will be staying with him F/T when he requires the 24/7 care. What a blessing and I so appreciate that she will be doing that with him. For now, he seems to be taking each day pretty well. Some days are worse than others. He was given 6-months when he was diagnosed with Stage 3 small cell lung cancer in November 2009. I hate to see him go through this....

I have been on an emotional roller coaster...I can only imagine that you are doing the same.

I've taken lots of pictures of my dad, as well as, video. Trying to see him...but I am soooo far away.

I extend hugs to you - I am here as support - I am here as a friend - I am here to cry - I am here to share memories!

joAnne - takeabreak

VBR said...

I hope that you and your family find some comfort in knowing there are many of us out here thinking of you all and saying little prayers and sending postive energy to all of you at this difficult time.

Carrie said...

You and your dad are still in my thoughts and prayers!!! Lots of hugs to you!!!!

Tace said...

Hi Marsha, I've been thinking of you and your family. I hope your Father's pain is managed. Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Take care of yourself too as you take care of your Dad.
Hugs

Laura Haviland said...

Marsha sending lots of positive thoughts to you. Thinking of you and take care of yourself too.
I miss you and your awesome art work. I am so sorry your Dad has to go through this.
Big Hugs,Laura. xoxoxxo
Sending my prayers to your family..

julie Haymaker thompson said...

Hi Marsha, I have walked in your shoes HMMM let me rephrase that .Know one ever has walked in your shoes they are unique to only you and your journey. So I guess to say, I have walked the same path you are walking with my husband's illness and I recognize many of the things you are saying . I send you courage to handle the things that are coming to you in the way you wish in your heart to face and handle them. "Yay though I walk through the valley of shadow ... " May your higher power be with you , your family and with your father too .May he be a guide in your hearts as you walk this dark valley . Hugs Julie

whymsicalmusings said...

How incredibly hard. I have been keeping you in my prayers. I have never dealt with this but know friends who have. It takes it's toll. I am praying that your Dad's pain along with yours and your familys will be releaved.
Hang in there you have friends and family who love you so much!
XXXOOOO

Joy Logan said...

So sorry you are going thru so much right now. I have been with both parents to the end and I know its hard. I had a hard time letting my feelings go til long after it all. I came by to catch up on your wild and stunning art colors and pieces but I can wait for more.

themixiepixie said...

I am praying for you, your father, and family during this difficult time. I went through something very similar with my father's brain cancer. Though it is different for everyone, it is hard no matter what. Hugs and best wishes.

gaby braun said...

Hi Marsha,
Life must be very difficult to you at this time. I can understand your feelings and you are in my prayers.

aliceinparis said...

Thinking of you. xoxo Hoping that amidst the sadness and stress, you can find some strength and courage.

Janny said...

It is horrible to see someone you love has to suffer so much. I wish you allmuch strength, I will lightning a candle for you. Big hug x

Anita Van Hal said...

My heart continues to go out to you and your family...I know it's difficult for you, but the Lord gives more grace when more is needed. Hugs!

bonjen3 said...

bless you and your family

whymsicalmusings said...

What we can do for another is the test of powers; what we can suffer is the test of love. – Brooke Foss Westcott

I thought of you when my sister sent me this. Sending positive loving thoughts.

barefootchef said...

Hugs and love and prayers for you and your family.
--Cathy

Julia said...

Hard times Marsha! Thinking of you and know his spirit can never die!

Jan (J.T.) Thomason said...

Marsha, I received the print that you graciously gifted me symbolizing the passing of my dear friend, Tina and it's impact on those of us left behind.
I opened it and when I was studying it, I cried. I haven't cried much over the passing of Tina - really only when I think of how much she'll be missed by Will and her kids and grands. I know we'll see her again and that she's no longer in pain and is seated at the feet of Jesus and that brings me great comfort. However, your collage reduced me to tears - it was so touching. Thank you.

Anyhow, I came to your blog to thank you for blessing me like you have. (I will be matting and framing the print this week and when I see it I will not only think of Tina, pray for Will and his family, but will also say a prayer for you - everytime.)

You can't imagine my surprise, my shock, when I arrived at your blog and found that you are dealing with the suffering and imminent passing of your father.
Yet, you graciously step out there and bless I don't know how many people with your generousity during this trying time.

What a blessing you are!
You are a gift to me.
Thank you so much for being who you are.
And, I will be praying for comfort for your father and for peace for you all.

Marsha, you are amazing to me.
Warmly, Jan

NANCY LEFKO said...

There really are no words to help ease the pain you are in. I remember all this too well from when I lost my dad to cancer...it is all too familiar. So I know the pain that you are experiencing mixed with the strength you are trying to muster. I wish you peace of mind and the strength you will need in the coming days. I hope that in the week since this post that your dad's pain as been managed and you can find grace in God's will. My prayers are with you.

roc said...

keeping you in my thoughts and prayers marsha. i'm here for you if you need me to be. much love.

Cathy said...

Oh Dear Marsha! I have been missing from blogland for far too long...
I didn't realize all the issues you have been dealing with.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope they can keep your dad comfortable. I'm sure having you there is a comfort in itself.
May you have the strength to get through the next few weeks and months.
sending BIG hugs to you,
cathy

Term Papers said...

If they are not able to improve things in the next two weeks, even with the radiation, then the doc said the end would come fairly quickly within a couple of weeks maybe.