Jan 25, 2010

Update and quick hello

Hi everyone. I've been in Missouri 2 weeks and it seems like 2 months. What a roller coaster. What a time warp and intense experience. When I got here my dad was obviously in pain, very thin, no appetite and somewhat shell shocked with finding out about the cancer but otherwise okay. That was 2 weeks ago yesterday. By the next Thursday, he was sleeping almost constantly, in much more pain and quickly became dehydrated shutting down his kidneys causing confusion and hallucinations. He was brought to the hospital by ambulance a week ago tomorrow and it has been a long week. I took turns with my brother staying with dad in 12 hour shifts as he still needed assistance and reassurance as the confusion lifted. As his mental state and kidneys started getting better other problems arose. His kidneys worked but not his urinary tract so a catheter was put in. His bowels became impacted and that caused some painful procedures. His heart started having ventricular tachycardia because of an electrolyte imbalance, possibly, could be that his heart is starting to have more problems. Anyway, after scans we found out Friday that his back was broken in two places and was probably the cause of the worst of his pain. Tomorrow he is having a quick procedure that inflates the two broken vertebra and will hopefully take care of much of the pain but we won't know til we try. His official prognosis is 3 months but if he slips back into dehydration or any other complications, of course, this could be over at any time. The cancer started in the gall bladder and we know it is in the liver and lymph nodes but that is all. Despite appetite stimulants, his appetite is not returning nor his desire for fluids so it is just hard to say what will happen. My brother left today so most is up to me now but Neva, dad's wife, does her best to help. This is going to be a long haul. It will be good to get out of the hospital and home to their house - that will help me in some ways, make it harder in others. Hospice will start immediately and we have a call into my dad's long term health care insurance to see what other ways we can get help. At least when we are home sleeping, eating, being all in once place will help. I have a hard time focusing on anything other than this situation so forgive my absence and "bain" damage (roc). I love you all and miss you so much. Hope all is well with everyone else.
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28 comments:

cindy said...

Hey Sweetie, Oh, I so hate to hear this. I'm so sorry. I'm am praying that once you get all in one place (as you say) and Hospice involved that will take some of the burden off of you. You need to not run your self down as well. Take care. Sending hugs and prayers your way.

-c
yapping cat

Tace said...

Hi Marsha, I am hoping and thinking positive thoughts that your father's pain will be managed, that inflating those vertebrae will find him relief.
Thinking of you, your brother, your Dad's wife
Hugs Tracey

TheresainMS said...

Prayers and positive thoughts being sent towards you daily! My husband is having heart bypass surgery this week and we're still in a bit of shock as it was totally unexpected. He's in great health otherwise and we have Faith in God's Healing Power. Keep your chin up and I'm definitely thinking about you and your family.

Love,
Theresa in MS

Anonymous said...

May God bless you with peace and tenderness as you help your father through this heroic last task. My prayers are with you.


Love,
Celeste

Stephanie said...

Marsha-
I started following your bog shortly before this all started.

I have been in your exact position - in fact the memories of my mother's last days rush back when I read your posts. Her cancer metastisized quickly from her lungs to her brain. Two weeks after her condition was discovered she passed away. Those two weeks were hell.

As soon as I got the call I knew I had to be with her - that there wasn't much time, though it hadn't been said at that point. She was in and out of lucidity. Chemo gave her a couple days of awareness, but after that it was pain management, mostly. Catheter, bed sores, morphine...it's all burned in my mind. Thank heavens for home health nurses - they are a godsend.

You are much stronger than I was at that time - although I was only twenty-two (mom was fifty). I admire how you are taking on the responsibility and doing what needs to be done and keeping your wits about you. You will make it through this and I know you'll treasure these last days with your father.

I pray for peace and comfort for you and your family.

Much love-
Stephanie

Joy said...

Marsha, my prayers go out to you and your family.

yoborobo said...

Wow, Marsha, you are really in the trenches, my friend. This is just so hard on all of you, and it's mostly on your shoulders. So I am sending you buckets and buckets of strength, and lots of hugs and love. xox Pam

Linda Crispell said...

I am so sorry that your father is suffering. I hope that they can make him comfortable and ease his pain. I am sure it is a great comfort to him having you by his side.
Your Pal,
Linda

bockel24 said...

Thanks for letting us all know - it´s good to know how things are going on in your life, and hopefully it helps you a bit to write about it ... Take care!

WW said...

Marsha...the hospice will help a great deal. They were very good with my mom.
Thoughts are with you (hugs)

Terri Kahrs said...

It's good to hear from you, Marsha, even though the news is dire. May angels of courage and strength surround you and yours. Love & Blessings, Terri xoxo

aliceinparis said...

Thanks for taking the time to update. We have all been thinking about you and wondering how things are. Hard by the sounds of it.
I hope that your dad's pain is controlled and that these last few weeks are good ones:) Does his wife have any children that can come and support her?
Sending you love and strength xo

Diva Kreszl said...

Continuing to hold you, your Dad and family in my prayers sweetie!

Marit said...

Dear friend... what more can I say then my thoughts are with you and your family... hang in there... we're all here for you! Take care!

Kelly said...

thanks for the update. so sorry to hear you are going through such tough times. will be thinking about you...

Mary said...

Hi Marsha, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad, what a difficult situation. Where are you in Missouri? I'm outside KC. If you're nearby, let me know if you'd like to get out just for a sandwich or a coffee. Hang in there. Mary

lilylovekin said...

My sister and I were just talking about you and wondering how things were so it was nice to get the update. Hang in there I know how difficult it is for you and your father. I hope your father can find some pain relief through out this and you in turn can find some peace. much love Lorrie

Janny said...

My thought's are with you and your family, hang in there! Big hug x

vintagesusie said...

Blessings, blessings, blessings my sweet friend. May the wings of angels wrap around you all & heal your pain.

My thoughts & prayers are with you Marsha...
Hugs,
Susie

Joan - Nichols and Co. said...

I just wanted to let you know that I love coming to your blog. It is so beautiful and inspiring!!! Your work is breath taking. Have a great evening!
Namaste,
Joan

Joan - Nichols and Co. said...

I know what you are going through and my prayers are with you and your family. It wasn't to long ago that we traveled the same road with my mom who had lukemia. Blessings for a peace nights sleep.
Namaste,
Joan

Trudi Sissons said...

Hi Marsha. Thanks so much for the update. I do hope things will be easier for you once hospice is in place and you're not having to travel to the hospital. Oh how I feel for you. I hope you'll be able to go out and take some walks around the neighbourhood each day and care for yourself.

VBR said...

Hello dear lady. Please take comfort in knowing that so many of us are thinking of you and your dad and family. Our prayers, positive energy and thoughts go out to you all at this time.

Laura Haviland said...

Hi Marsha miss you...
I feel so deeply for you and thank you for the update.
Sending positive thoughts.
Big Hugs,Laura.

Cha Cha said...

Absolutely no apologies, sweet friend. Just know that there are so many people thinking of you and your family. Take care and know that you are loved!

Susan Sager Brown said...

Love you and Miss you Marsha. Thinking about you often. Ginormous hugs. xoSusan

Msartist said...

Dear Marsha, I lost my mom a few years ago and I know what you are going through.My heart and prayers go out to you. I hope you will stay strong and hospice will help guide you through the rough patches.
You have inspired me and warmed so many hearts through your work and words. Life s journey can get complicated((hugs))We will be here in thoughts and prayers until your return. ~Love and prayers Theresa

Sabii Wabii said...

Marsha,
So glad you keep posting with updates. Your family situation has been on my mind since your very first post about a month ago. This has got to be very trying. May the Lord keep you close through all of the family dynamics.
Blessings to you,
Terisa