If I had a magic wand, Christmas list, and hearting people . . .

A slightly more realistic and humble Christmas wish list . . .
(if you don't know what that means, please reference previous Christmas wish list posts below - this one leaves out the airplane window)

Since getting my swanky super big cool computer and printer, I don't expect or want anything more. But, I had already done my research so thought I'd share what I WAS going to ask for . . . (I've had this post in the oven a week or so)

A magic wand . . . now #1 on the list



First, I would really like to finally get a magic wand. If I have the magic wand, I won't need the therapeutic but very cool airplane window which if received would mean redecorating the house. I have needed a magic wand so many times. For example, I wanted one just yesterday when reading Cha Cha's blog. I wanted to wave my magic wand and fix everything. So, what a perfect thing to ask Santa for. I promise not to abuse it as I believe life DOES need the downs to make the ups, ups. Know what I mean? But there are just a few times, now and then, it sure would come in handy. Okay, it may not be realistic but it is a sincere wish.

I used to have several pairs of converse tennis shoes in all different patterns. I wore them to work on casual Fridays - as an elementary librarian and art teacher you can get away with such attire. My daughter, growing into my shoe size a couple of years ago, then confiscated them and subsequently trashed them as a result of being a good kid and doing things all good kids should do (and maybe we adults should do more), running and playing and splashing in puddles. I am down to one pair of patterned and one pristinely white pair. And now, I can wear them everyday as I am only working for myself! Woohoo! That feels good. Here are some I would like to have now . . . (kind of in order and white laces on the last pair - no black laces for me AND women's size 8, honey) (click on the pictures to see detail - like the ones with white trees)




Okay, it's not just about footwear this year, but I would also like these boots for my sea glass hunting trips . . .



I hate wearing sandals cuz you get rocks under your piggies if you're walking in rocks and in the tide and you either have to remove them every few minutes or look for sea glass in severe piggie pain, especially in the winter (the best times to look for glass)

I would also like a fairy chair for my little chair collection and a fairy door (that I'll have to paint to match the human house and with proper fairy furniture for it too) . . .



The last door, the red one, is from Red Shoes, one of my favorite blogs - talk about eye candy. I'll take one of everything in her store.

Lastly, I would like these cool cards, made by the U.S. Playing Card Company to look like vintage 19th century cards, like they were found in some ghost town when they are actually brand new! Cool!



And, I had one more thing on my mind and on my list before signing off today. I just opened my Etsy store last week and was excited a day or two and then a little disappointed. I don't know what I was expecting but I am fighting the insecure thoughts . . . like "no one wants fairies anymore", "I need to do something different", "I haven't found my voice yet", "this isn't the direction I should work in", "I don't have enough goin' on in my work", "it's too simple", "it's not interesting enough", "I need to work harder", etc. Only one piece of art sold and that one to a good blog buddy so I don't know if it counts. All the time my husband reminding me that maybe only 10-12 people in the world know I (or my art) exist at the moment. Then, tonight I found that 10 people have "hearted" me! And, AND, only 3 of them are blog buddies! So, there's a glimmer of hope.

So, the last thing on my wish list is to know what I should do, if I should keep working at this. I asked my husband how long I should keep making things and not selling them (apparently) before I give up and go back to work at a "job" job and he said "never" at first and then realized I was looking for a different "realer" answer and he said "next summer". So, having only spent 2 months up to now venturing down this road, I feel pretty okay that I have a few more months (at least 6) before I have to throw in the towel and possibly realize the dream and the destiny didn't add up. We will see . . .

p.s. my husband just read this and said I sound desperate and impatient. Impatient, yes, I admit it. I am. Desperate, no. I am not looking for answers from readers or soliciting compliments, just being honest about my journey and the roadblocks many of us throw up ourselves. Surely I am not the only artist that started out with a whole boatload of self doubt.