This is where I am . . .

The key word here is I.

I am studying. Cramming. I am not blog hopping or commenting my buddies as I should be (and I feel guilty! I will catch up soon, I promise. I AM thinking of you all). I am cocooning. I am very self involved. I am focused and scattered at the same time. (I've watched too much House - feel like I am looking for an illusive illness - note I am just about to add the theme song to my new playlist) I am so dramatic lately and I HATE drama! I've pulled out book upon book looking, absorbing - my space is a mess of evidence in searching. I've been exploring flickr, hours pass. I've been looking for new music. I've been trying things so big for me but in little baby steps, hardly noteworthy to most. I am on the verge of something, not extraordinary, but something different, a new direction surfacing just a wee bit. I am eclectic. I am frustrated. Something is different in me. I can see it, but I can't make it, can't make it my own, in my own visual words. I am collecting pieces, ideas. I am searching. I like sweet and simple, I like quirky and complicated and I want to go there, just a little for now. I shall return.

By the way, I've decided in my recent self reflection to focus on art and not another job . . . yet. I am still waiting to find out about my dad's surgery in January and won't make any plans or change directions until after that. So, I'm trying to work towards the next level in my art, so to speak, at least for now. I am so wishy washy. What is wrong with me? (I'm not really asking you . . . I am asking myself a lot of things lately)