I do. I do right now. Between taking Nancy's Collage Dreams on Paper class, looking at more art than I have in a long time from all over the net, and then looking at my own, I have no idea what I'm doing or what I want to do. I accidentally ran across my "flickriver" (an alternative view of your flickr images) and I had not seen it before and the first thing that came to mind was that my work looks very amateur, very elementary and awkward. I just can't see it hanging in a show somewhere. I need to really assess what I'm doing and where I want to go with my work. I need to "up" things a notch or two. I'm being impatient I think. This new facebook experience had me get up out of my chair and look at my work and my life from standing on top of the desk (kind of a Dead Poet Society perspective thing) and it all looks so different to me when taken out of the context of our blog and flickr familiarity with each other's work. And Nancy's class, and some input I'm getting there, has me really feeling like I need to keep pushing myself and not get too comfortable anywhere yet in my work. I just don't know what to do next - I'm in a gridlock.
I had this piece almost finished for over a week, before I started working on Nancy's class assignments (that has me throwing everything in but the kitchen sink - it's been very fun but I'm overdoing it a little I think). This piece is very, very simple but I liked it enough to not throw it out. I'm using it for a trade I have coming up.
copyright by Marsha Jorgensen 10/29/09. All rights reserved. You may not copy, print, download, or use this image in any way without my permission.
This is a 4 1/2 x 6 1/2 collage using a black and white face from the public domain, a partial body from cemerony.etsy.com, and black and white legs from the public domain. The hat, boat, and wings were purchased from clipart.com owned by Jupiter Images. The ground is from designer Lori Davison of Studio Lori at scrapbookgraphics.com. The grass is from Create Wings and the TV is from Holliewood Studios at Oscraps.com. The background was made by merging layers from flickr's skeletalmass and Neighya.
I'm off to do some more art soul searching. Daughter is still sick, going back to the doctor tomorrow and I have had a headache for over 24 hours now and sore throat all day. I'm grumpy.
Wait! (updated after WW's comment) (which was very nice by the way)
Can't you all read my mind? I always assume you are right there in my head with me. The other half of my thinking, which I didn't explain, is that I've been very comfortable with my work here and with you all. As I started facebook this week, my potential non-art audience completely changed. I don't have hardly anything about my art on my facebook but when someone from my old life asks about it, I see my work in a whole new way - it's very awkward and scary for me to share it with them and I suddenly feel so inadequate. This stems from the fact that most of my family and friends (except for my dear husband and mother-in-law) never talk about my work, hardly acknowledge it and when they do it's a lot of uhuh's, oh's. They don't like it much or think I have much sense in pursuing it, I gather. So, that is where a large part of my doubt is coming from also. If I was just a person walking down a street and saw my art in a window what would I think? Probably the old "I coud do that, what's so impressive about that?" or the "I don't get it".