Aug 10, 2010

Runaway crazy person

Have you seen the movie Runaway Bride? It's one of my favorite light hearted girl movies. It has nothing to do with the image below but everything to do with my mind at the moment. I swear the whole world that knows me will think I have lost my mind.

At the risk of that, I have had yet another shift in thinking tonight. I am hoping that all these changes of heart, all of these twists and turns I seem to be making are eventually going to direct me back to the path I am supposed to be on. I have had yet another change of heart tonight. Well, it's been coming on for a few days but I couldn't deny it any longer tonight. I am a runaway crazy person.

In the movie, the bride keeps committing to get married and has a last minute change of heart and can't seem to say "I do". I keep saying I'm going to do things and it gets down to it and I can't say "I do" to it, or I say "I do" and then I don't want to. So, the nitty gritty is . . . tonight I think I am not going to sell collage sheets anywhere at all. I feel so goofy writing any of this as if the world is hanging on my every word to find out . . . I know that is not the case. But, I always give the details here, the honest part of the journey. And the honest part right now is that I think I need to just make art, not collage sheets. I just can't seem to do both well at once and I am not done making art. I have so many things I want to do and figure out. I think I've just had a hard time finding my "home" since my dad died. I have had a hard time feeling "home" inside myself and I think that needs to be explored in making art, and in a less shared experience. Selling collage sheets kind of shares the creating experience, I am figuring out, and that has it's importance and its time and place. But for now, I think I need to concern myself with just my own insides, my own imagery, to help me get back on track, back on the path, back "home". So, I'm running away again.

This piece below, is another quickie digital collage . . . it has nothing to do with running, but I think I relate to this feeling of "here we go again" absurdity I see in it . . . complete boredom with myself.

Aye, aye, aye

copyright by Marsha Jorgensen 8/9/2010. All rights reserved.
All images are my own creation.



Marit said...

You are NOT a crazy person nor a runaway... the fact that you want, no NEED to explore your inner self in your art and can't do some other things beside that AND the fact that you figured that out is the ultimate proof of you being very wise and sane indeed!!! I wish you to find joy, peace, wisdom, yourself and everything else you need to discover in your artwork! Sending you a big hug from over the ocean! (feel it in the wind...)

Scrappie Irene said...

It's good that you follow your heart and do what you feel is right for you!
I will miss your collage sheets, but now I'm forced to look for nice images myself, lol.
Anyway, I'll keep coming back to your blog for inspiration!

Hugs, Irene

Sueann said...

You have to do what is true for you and there is no need to apologize for that. As artists, we have the privilege of being able to express ourselves visually or with words and music. And in order to do that, we must be "clear" in our thinking and in our hearts and minds.
So travel on dear one and concern yourself only with the journey. All the other things will fall into place when the time is right.

Jamie said...

Yeah!!! More art!!! Arting is good for your soul Sweetie. It's what brought you here and what will bring you home. Love, Jamie

Kim Mailhot said...

Hey Lady, this is Your ONE precious life ! Do what makes your heart, soul, body, mind feel good and don't worry about the rest. What you put out into the world is plenty enough. Go and play and create to your artist heart's content and know that you are doing just the job that you are meant to do. Trying something, discovering it doesn't feel right and walking away takes a lot of courage, you know. Probably more than diving in in the first place. What others think really, truly doesn't matter. Listen to that voice calling inside. It knows the right thing. Oh, and be kind to yourself. It provides a great example for how you want others to treat you. ;)
(This is a note I write to you, Marsha, to myself, to to some many of my wonderful friends who are living with those self-doubts but who get up every morning as seek the right thing for themselves. We are enough, just the way we are. Big Love to you, Seeker Girl !)

Linda M. Cain said...

Do what you love, and everything else will fall into place. I tried doing too much and ended up not liking most everything. Now I'm back to my roots and life is good.
Sometimes we need to cut back to enjoy things.

Your Friend in ART,

yoborobo said...

Hello, my crazy person friend! It is I, your crazy person friend! LOL! I am in the same place you are (not exactly, since I am in MD! haha), and I have come to the conclusion that I need to do some art that is just for ME. I am completely excited that you are going to be creating some new art for us all to oogle. You go, girl! xoxo! Pam

Joanna Paterson said...

Oh, I so recognise myself in this - not all the time, but sometimes, and it can be exasperating, but still... you have to follow that inner guide. Maybe you'll find you were runningn towards something, not away, all along...

Kathryn Zbrzezny said...

I admire your strength and honesty and openness. Being true to yourself, is what you are doing. You are not running away, nor crazy. You are running toward something that means the world to you and your work, and in another way, would be a gift for your dad, too. I'm sure he's proud of your decision. (I feel your missing feelings. I miss my dad. One thing that helps me, is thinking about "missing good or missing bad". When I miss bad, I get very sad and feel sorry for myself and eveything else. When I miss good, I smile to remember the good times and the love and know that he's with me when I think about him. Just thought I would share. I hope you find comfort.) ~Kathy

roc said...

hey marsha, we are all all a little crazy at times but yet completely normal at the same time. it's one of those oxymorons of life. stay in the moment and just "be" and you will always be in the right place at the right time.

NancyB said...

You just follow your heart and enjoy the process darlin! Go with the flow! Loves ya!

Outstanding Stranger said...

Good choice my friend...selling your art will keep you busy enough. Maybe you can make an occasional sheet of clip art but stay on track. Your art comes from within and I can see your newest piece of juggling is a piece of you. Also the one with the elephant shows the burden you were under...Have fun,surround yourself with things you love and people you love and your muse will dance that happy dance...Love and Hugs, Diane

VS said...

I love this piece...maybe because that how my face has been feeling as of late. And so funny you brought up Runaway Bride, cuz that's just what I try everyday not to do...runaway.
I haven't seen it yet, but in the trailer for 'Eat,Pray, Love,' she says something that has stuck with me. "It's my life & I'm going for it!"
I feel my lifetime slipping by me & I want to go for it! Go to France, Italy, Kennebunkport, Nova Scotia...what am I doing sitting on this damn mountain top when there are so many places I need to get to??
I fill my time with art. I fill my time with my blog. I fill my time running my shop. I fill my time being wife, mother, grandmother, daughter. I want to fill my time with something else right now, is that just incredibly selfish???
Anywho are not alone in your search for self & at the very least you're working everyday on trying to figure that out. Right now...that just may be the best we can do!!!

Sandy said...

Hello dear Marsha,

Your images and collage sheets are incredible and absolutely unique. Amazing work. Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow !!!!
Big applause and standing ovation from me.

Debby said...

I love your honesty! I think you are doing the right thing for you at the moment. Go and make your beautiful art and everything else will fall into place. Happy ARting!

Veronica said...

You'll find yourself home again before you know it. :)