Jan 5, 2011

A Life Post

It is purely coincidence that I feel the need to make some life changes right after New Year's Day. I've never been one to contemplate resolutions since 99% of us that make them fail to stick to them 99% of the time.

But, paying better attention to things going on around me lately for some reason, I find myself reflecting and wondering how I could be better. A better mother, a better wife, a better friend, a better sister, a better woman, a better artist, a better business owner, a better citizen, a better version of myself . . . a better human.

First step, self assessment. I have gotten lazy.
  • I have allowed myself to be a victim far too often this last year. I have forgotten how to be a warrior.
  • I have allowed myself to wallow. I have forgotten to be joyous and grateful and optimistic.
  • I have allowed myself to focus on roadblocks instead of seeing the potential past them.
  • I have pinned hopes on tiny little wasted dreams and forgotten to hope for the big crazy adventure.
  • I care too much what others think of me and have too often disregarded my own sense of self worth.
  • I have forgotten that there's a difference between allowing myself to be sucked into the spiral of negativity and drama of others and being compassionately concerned but true to my own values and beliefs.
Second step, LET GO! I need to let go of EXCUSES, BLAME, worry, grief, regrets, grudges, negative people, negative situations, bad memories, fears, laziness, bad habits, and all the crap that clutters my environment and my mind. LET GO is my mantra for myself until I feel better, feel "ME".

I saw a therapist once that told me I can blame anyone I want for anything that happened in my past as recent as yesterday. It's pointless. It does nothing. Blame rarely makes things better. BLAME IS AN EXCUSE AND NOT A SOLUTION. I only have myself to blame for who I am today, my happiness and success as a human, and how I choose to live my life. Whatever it is that I think I need, whether it's love, respect, acceptance, money, friendship, acknowledgement, a job or a new pair of jeans or anything else, I need to find it, work for it, earn it, grow it, and create it myself. It is no one's responsibility but my own.

Third step, reteach myself to be me
. There is a me down there somewhere, a little lost and off balance. I've been going in the wrong directions, focusing on the wrong things - maybe for a few years now. I've forgotten the me I used to be and want to be. I catch glimpses now and then. So, for me, the best way to chip away at all that has gotten in the way of "me" is to start with simple things:
  • good sleep (but not TOO much sleep)
  • exercise (especially walking my scaredy cat dog and training him at the same time I train me)
  • getting out of the house and looking at the world around me
  • alone time in my own space
  • eating better (more fruits and veggies!)
  • reading and researching
  • little indulgences (like naps and playing games and mindless TV now and then)
  • doing the chores that never get done (instead of waiting for someone else to do them)
  • taking pictures (because things look different through the view finder)
  • listening to music
  • writing letters
  • wearing make up now and then and remembering I used to be a girl
  • finding clothes that fit
  • kissing my husband and telling him all the lovely things I think about him everyday
  • being harder on my kids (because people live up to expectations and not past them sometimes and I think I've gotten a little soft in what I expect)
  • actually, along those lines, expecting more from everyone in my life including myself
  • thinking positively and optimistically
  • and a million other little things.
These are NOT resolutions. These are things I've been too lazy to do.



*jean* said...

taking stock, checking inventory, is what my dad used to say...everybody needs to do it in with their possessions why not in your mental attic??

so glad you have time to blog again, i missed you here last year!!

xo jean

Anonymous said...

"amen" marsha....
thanks for this inspirational post which struck a chord with me.
best wishes for 2011...i think it will be a great ride!

Jenny said...

What a beautiful and heartfelt post Marsha... new beginnings... love it... you are an inspiration...

Jenny x

Muckypup said...

Wow Marsha! I think that we all need to stop and reassess sometimes, and you certainly have! I also love your new blog banner. You go girl, have a great year.

Ann said...

wow..sounds like me..then ,again,sounds like most fabulous women who have so much they want to do..sometimes "things" get "pushed to the side"..thanks for sharing your thoughts..it's like a kick in my butt!! here I go......!!

Shelly said...

Holy moly, Miss Marsha. That resonates with me so loudly that my ears are ringing. (In case there's any question, I mean that in a very good way.) I am very much here for you if you need a shoulder or just about any other body part for that matter. BIG, BIG hugs to you. -S

R2artstudio said...

Very well written! I can relate to so many of your thoughts. I also agree, no resolutions. I call them goals for the year. And remember, you can't do them all at once. :-) I will enjoy checking in and see how you are doing.

Kathy said...

I never ever do the resolution thing. But your taking stock, and deciding to pull out the hip boots to wade right in and start cleaning - great idea. I went to a work function once where the speaker talked about people who are "sucking black holes of negativity." They can sink a workplace. You know what? They can sink YOU too!! Good advice you're giving yourself and sharing.
Happy New Year and New You!

BlueRidgeLady said...

Thanks friend, I needed that!!

Amy Knutkowski said...

A wonderful post, Marsha! I did a similar thing a few years ago and getting rid of the negative influences in your life makes an incredible difference. You are such a caring wonderful person and you deserve all the good things life can give you. *hugs* -Amy

yoborobo said...

Go, Marsha! I can feel the energy zapping across the ether to me. :) I need to do ALL of those things, too. I will add one: love who you are. I am so hard on myself 24-7 and I'm guessing you are, too. :) Happy New Year to my talented and fabulous friend! xox

Kim Mailhot said...

Love this post, Miss Marsha !
One thing though - I don't think you are lazy at all! You have just been on hold, paused, stuck in some holding patterns and are beginning to wake up to the need to move forward. That is a part of life on this crazy planet. But I think a lot of us are realizing that there is a better way to move forward, in positivity, in being mindful, in being present in all of our self, mind, body and spirit. An you know what ? This movement towards being the best us possible gives me hope...
Happy New Year, Lovely One !
Here's to letting go...

Anonymous said...

Marsha this post is terrific. Much of what you have said resonates so deeply with me. I have a 'crossroads' feeling myself. Thanks for articulating all of this so well.

Unknown said...

Marsha, it took a whole lot of courage to expose yourself in such a personal way. Kudos to you for doing so. Sometimes putting it in writing helps us to take the next step. Sometimes letting others know our goal somehow makes us more accountable and therefore try harder.
I want to wish you a Happy New Year and may you have all the blessings you can handle and the strength to be the person you want to be. You are a dear lady and a fabulous artist! I absolutely love the 3 pieces I have of yours.
Have a wonderful Thursday.

Dawn @ alteredartists said...

We all need to re-assess now and then. Good luck to you. The post was inspirational to all of us by the looks of things. You are wildly talented, don't forget that part!

Marit said...

Aaahhh.... the 'wearing make up now and then' line speaks to me LOUD! I too have gotten lazy last year... thanks for the wake up call - Happy and active 2011!!!

arts4all said...

This is a wonderfully brave post. Very personal, extremely inspiring. Thank you!!!

Zora Neale Hurston said, "There are years that ask questions, and years that answer them." We shoul all pause from time to time and see which 'year' we are in..... Blessings to you!

Outstanding Stranger said...

WoW...me thinks you are way to hard on your self...But beautiful, talented, gifted people usually are!
Have a good year and enjoy the ride. Love and Hugs, Diane

junkgarden said...

Wow Marsha, a very inspirational post. God bless you!

Theresa said...

Inspiring post! Happy New Year Marsha! Wishing you all things good in 2011~ Theresa

Queen of Tides said...

What a great post! I also feel the need to re-evaluate every year around the new year. I think it is a good thing and I love that a blog is a great reminder and can help us stay focused on those things we want to change. Unlike a written journal, it can't be misplaced, lol, it is always right here where we left it!