Dec 7, 2008

Gun shot follow up, near electrocution, and boys . . .

The gun shots of previous post . . . the neighborhood did a full self induced investigation this morning. We saw no bullet holes, no casings, no dead bodies, no nothin' - nothin' worth our laytex gloves and ziploc baggies in hand (just kidding) - then one neighbor mentioned that their first reaction was that it was a block away and the way they came off seemed to be up in the air more, and some stupid fools, we have heard, have in the past shot into the air to celebrate something or other. Then a friend told us this evening that a big anticipated boxing match ended about the same time and someone may have won big and "celebrated". As far as the "hood" - yes, it is a part of Los Angeles but it is not as bad and scary as it might seem to folks out of state or unfamiliar. Like I said before, we know people within a few blocks that leave their keys in their very nice cars and their doors to the house wide open. I visited my dad in Mountain Grove, Mo. this last summer, somewhere I've visited all of my life, population about 4,000 - maybe 6 tops now - in the middle of the senior citizen bible belt complete with town square that reminds me of Andy Hardy movies - and just two weeks before we got there someone killed 3 others and himself just a block away in the newest "high end" custom built home neighborhood. When I lived in South Dakota, someone murdered someone in an interstate restroom, a complete stranger as far as they know - the first murder in the state in 20-30 years. We just moved from a very affluent high end suburb of LA (used to be the #1 safest city to live in in the nation many years running) and we heard gun shots a time or two there too. So, stuff happens everywhere, it just happened to happen too close for comfort last night, celebrating or not.

We got on with decorating this morning. We DiD get the tree done and various other things put out. Then, I decide it is muy importante to put garland lights over the oak bookcases. Of course, the outlet is behind one of the book cases. Grandma (my mom-in-law) and son and I carefully unlaod the books in order (I WAS a librarian) and stack them on the floor IN ORDER and move the cases after much grunting and groaning. First, we moved the wrong one - the outlet was behind the other one. We unload the second case (these are floor to ceiling, mind you) and get the flat plug extension cord, that I made my husband go get, plugged in and move the cases back and put the books all back in, IN ORDER. But, the cord is now stuck in a part of the very old floor heater next to the last book case. The pressure of the book case near one end, a very little corner, put pressure on the other end and trapped the cord. So, I pull and slide and pull and slide trying to get this little piece of cord out of the heater. Husband is outside fixing something else or this probably wouldn't have happened. I pull and slide and wiggle. Next thing I know there are fireworks going off and a loud zap, zap, zap sound and little sparks flying EVERYWHERE. In my brilliant pull, slide, wiggle manuever I managed to nearly electrocute myself and cause a fire as little sparks were flying floor to ceiling. Somehow, I was not hurt, nor did the house burn down. BUT, we did have to unload the book case again (only one this time) in a big fat hurry to make sure we werent' (I mean I wasn't) causing the whole electrical system in the wall to zap itslef into a good fire. This time, things did not get moved in order. No fire, another trip to Target for hubby, new cord, shelves moved back, books replaced IN ORDER again, lights put on top of case and plugged in. We're done! (And, I'm gonna think twice before I start decorating next year.)

Lastly, I'll share some pix that I just received from dear sister-in-law reconfirming the fact that boys NEED parents and the pix that explain why they do. Having a 17 year old son myself, some of these look vaguely familiar. My apologies if you've already received this email or seen this somewhere else.

And you also find out interesting things when you have sons, like...
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2! .) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiches even though TV commercials show
they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in Austi TX has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.


ScrapAddict said...

I reading and laughing soooo hard i can't type! OMG! You are so right about the fire department in austin, Texas! The one in Round Rock, Texas is even slower! And...some legos will also pass through the digestive tract of a small dog after being fed to said dog by 5 year old boy!

Tace said...

Woman.....gunshots and near win. I don't even think it matters if you finish your just win. (again, not that we were competing)
If that's how exciting decking your halls is I can't even imagine what your holiday itself must be like.
I'm thinking when you open presents on Christmas morn you oughtta be VERY DANG WARY of paper cuts...I'm just sayin' is all....

Cindy said...

LOL! Having never had kiddos...look at all the fun I missed! : D Great post.